Annie? Get Your Gun! part 3!

Dido’s on it!!! Never. In the history of mankind. Has one woman sold, so many records, with so few decent songs on them. Actually, hang on a second, didn’t we just mention Celine Dion? Well Dido had one actually (“White Flag”), Celine bloody Dion, on the other hand, has had none. Unless of course you count any that have been turned into thunderous high energy knickers-in-the-air-where’s-the-podium-sod-it-where’s-the-f***ing-poppers-darling! kind of numbers. In which case. She’s had loads!
Fergie's on it!! How does that song go? "How come evry time you come around, my London, London Bridge wanna go down..."!! I've just had breakfast love! Christ, itd be like pokin a botoxed cabbage patch doll.
Gladys Knight is on it, bless her. "Baby Don't Change Your Mind", "Midnight Train To Georgia", now THEY'RE tunes. And she doesn't need to turn my stomach in the process of listening to them. But. let's face it, she hasn't had a hit since that James Bond theme so i bet she's penniless, rifling through the broken biscuit dumpbin in Aldi like a woman possessed, shuffling 2 inches behind the reduced pricing gun in Spar as we speak, and therefore glad of the exposure.
Melissa Etheridge, well she's got balls, but no tunes.
Pink's on it. And anyone covered by La Bassey has to have one decent song at least ("Get The Party Started") but everything else? Well, as i tell dear friends when asked what handy tips i have for their xmas dinner leftovers....throw it all in the f***ing BIN".
Bonnie Raitt? see Melissa Etheridge.
And KT Toadstool.
She's going all glam for that difficult second album apparently. I'm reminded of Suzi Quatro. Which im not sure is a good thing. For her. Or us.
Oh and Joss Stone is on it ("Y'gettin down, y'all?!). But this isnt a blog about Joss Stone, though don't get me started on that oul trout.
My own line up would probably consist of:

Kate Bush (all hail!)
Aretha Franklin
Agnetha
Frida
Siouxsie
Debbie Harry
La Bassey
Stevie Nicks
Bjork (what the f*** is that album sleeve about?)
Messy Elliot (bloody hilarious)
Sinead O Connor
Martha Wainwright
Tracy Thorn
all three ladies from Boney M
plus if i may, from beyond the grave
Nina Simone
Dusty Springboard
Karen Carpenter
Divine
and purely for the drinks afterwards
Jay Aston from Bucks Fizz
and err
Baccarra

Ladies and gentlemen, i now throw it open to the floor.....